How to Start the Conversation About Funeral Wishes With Someone You Love

Talking to someone you love about their funeral wishes — or sharing your own — can feel emotional or overwhelming. Many people avoid the topic because they’re afraid of upsetting someone, getting it wrong, or sounding morbid. But in reality, these conversations are some of the most meaningful and loving moments we can share.

When we talk openly about our wishes, we remove stress, prevent confusion, and give our families clarity when they need it most.

Here’s a gentle, supportive guide to help you start that important conversation.

1. Choose a Calm, Comfortable Moment

A conversation this important deserves time, space, and privacy.

Choose a moment when:

• • You’re both relaxed
  • There are no distractions
  • Emotions feel steady
  • You can talk openly without rushing

This could be a quiet evening at home, a peaceful walk, or a moment where you’re naturally discussing life, family, or memories.

2. Begin With Love — Not Fear

Start by expressing why this matters to you. You don’t need formal language.

Try something simple and honest:

“There’s something important I’d love to talk about because I care about you.”
“I want to make things easier for you in the future.”
“I’ve been thinking about getting organised, and I’d like to share something with you.”

Framing the conversation with love helps the other person feel safe and understood.

3. Use Real Experience to Open the Door

If you’re unsure how to begin, a real example can soften the topic:

“I’ve seen how hard it can be for families to make decisions when they’re grieving.”
“A friend told me how much comfort they had when their loved one left clear wishes.”
“I read about planning your funeral wishes and it really made me think.”

This shows that your intention is care, not worry.

4. Introduce the Idea of Recording Wishes

Once the conversation feels natural, you can explain why writing wishes down is so important:

• • It removes emotional pressure from loved ones
  • It prevents disagreements or guesswork
  • It ensures the person gets the farewell they want
  • It brings peace of mind now, not later

You might say:

“I came across a guided workbook called My Wishes: Planning Your Farewell. It gently helps you write down everything your loved ones would need to know. I think it could give us both a lot of clarity.”

Most people feel relieved once they realise they don’t have to start from scratch.

5. Start With Simple, Easy Questions

You don’t need to cover everything in one go.

Begin with small, meaningful questions:

“Is there a song you’ve always loved and would want at your farewell?”
“Have you ever thought about burial or cremation?”
“Is there someone you’d want involved in your service?”
“Are there special memories or messages you’d want passed on?”

These gentle opening questions help the conversation flow naturally.

6. Take Your Time — It Doesn’t All Need to Happen Today

End-of-life conversations can be emotional.

If someone becomes overwhelmed, reassure them:

“It’s okay — we don’t have to talk about everything today.”
“We can go at your pace.”

The goal is simply to open the conversation, not to finish it.

7. Show How My Wishes Book Makes Everything Easier

Your guided workbook was created to make this process simple, comforting, and organised.

Inside My Wishes, you’ll find space for:

• • Funeral preferences (music, readings, burial/cremation)
  • A list of key people to involve in the farewell
  • Important documents and where they are kept
  • Personal messages and memories
  • Even pet care instructions — who will look after them, what they eat, and their routines

It transforms a difficult topic into something clear, thoughtful, and meaningful.

8. End With Reassurance and Gratitude

Most people feel lighter after talking about their wishes.

End by reminding them:

“I’m really glad we talked about this.”
“Your wishes matter to me.”
“Thank you for trusting me with this.”

These conversations strengthen relationships and create a sense of peace and understanding.

Starting the conversation about funeral wishes isn’t about death — it’s about love, clarity, and protecting the people who matter most.

With the gentle guidance of My Wishes: Planning Your Farewell, you can record your wishes (or help someone record theirs) in a way that feels comforting rather than overwhelming.

If you’d like to begin this meaningful journey, you can order your hardback copy here